Still a way to go help change a culture
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11th April 2011 11:58 a.m.
Hello I’m Darren Ward, Service Manager for Acute Adult services in Bromley, part of the Adult Acute Directorate. As from 1st April 2011 I will be based at the Memorial Hospital site.
I originate from Nottingham in the East Midlands. I started out in the NHS in 1982. I am a dual qualified Nurse; RGN/RMN. I currently live in Dulwich with my civil partner of 23 years. I have an adopted son who is now 12 years old.
In November 2010 I attended a 2 day programme run by Stonewall, exclusively for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Leaders in organizations. The 2 day programme was a real “eye opener” in terms of listening to the experiences of other Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Leaders across different organizations and sectors.
It made me realize how important it is to be a part of helping change culture, hence me writing about myself personally in this blog. Whilst there is much more now in terms of legal framework and protection for the LGBT community in terms of protection from discrimination, there’s still quite a way to go. The general climate of course is improving. It is very positive that Oxleas have encouraged me to write this piece and show the organizations real commitment to equality.
I really hope we can continue to embed sexual orientation equality in workplaces of warmth and acceptance, avoiding indifference or mere tolerance!
Filed under: Equality and diversity
Related tags: Gay, LGBT, Stonewall
Darren Ward
Darren Ward is Service Manager for Acute Adult services in Bromley.
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Comments
1 KAYE JONES says...
Hello. My name is Kaye Jones and I am a 50 year old social worker ( by profession ) who has worked for Oxleas NHS Trust as a manager in learning disability services for in excess of 30 years and this is the first time I have ever felt sufficiently motivated to write on someone’s blog, so here goes.
Like Darren and many other staff working for Oxleas I am encouraged by the current and progressive work with Stonewall and am fully committed to engaging with staff and service users to eradicate any form of discrimination in the workplace.
Posted at 10:25 a.m. on June 8, 2011
2 Darren Ward says...
Thanks for the reply Kaye, it's good to know there is some interest. I hope people feel safe enough to start a healthy discussion about Sexuality issues in the Trust and how we address these for both patients and staff. I think there are many small but practical things we could do to make life feel easier for all!
As we know the 2011 Census this time asked a question about Civil Partnerships, so this info' will be collected, but it did not ask a question about sexuality, which is disappointing!
As part of our Oxleas LGBT group, Christine Rivers and myself have put together a plan of things we think might help over the coming 2 years. Hopefully soon this will be loaded on the E&D part of Intranet, with a specific tab.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 11:15 a.m. on June 15, 2011
3 Christine Rivers says...
The 2 year action plan is on the intranet, at present in governance/equality and diversity/stonewall healthy lives programme. Communications are due to put a separate E&D tab on the intranet in the near future, so that equality information is easier to find.
I think that there is still much work to do, but the Stonewall Healthy Lives programme is putting in place a series of actions, and in the process increasing the visibility of LGBT lives in Oxleas.
Thoughts, comments about the healthy lives programme or sexual orientation in Oxleas (for staff or service users) are welcome!
Posted at 9:43 a.m. on June 16, 2011
4 Liz Day says...
Darren, this is a great start. I work in CAMHS and know that the research shows that coming out is a real issue for many young LGBT people. In fact some young people feel so desperate and alone that their first act is to try to harm themselves. We must do something to be more visible so young people don't feel so alone. I spent Tuesday evening with Rikki Beadle-Blair who wrote and produced the film FIT for schools (supported by Stonewall). He is inspirational in his belief that you have to love yourself. You can google examples of his work which really speaks to young people.
Posted at 12:16 p.m. on June 16, 2011
5 James Taylor says...
Keep up the good work!
Posted at 7:04 a.m. on June 17, 2011
6 Debbie Clifford says...
Hi Darren
I will watch this blog with interest as I am very keen to see what ideas/plans you and Christine have to support staff who are experiencing difficulties at work due to their sexuality. Also, as stated by Kaye, I too would give my full support to any initiatives that may help eradicate any form of discrimination in the workplace.
Good to see a forum that enables open discussions to take place.
Posted at 10:22 a.m. on June 17, 2011
7 Rob Satchell says...
Firstly, I think it's great that you've started this blog.
As you said in your original post Darren, there is now more in terms of a legal framework to protect LGBT people from discrimination but what is important is that this is embedded into the culture of the organisation so that everyone is able to feel accepted.
If as an organisation, we are able to achieve this, there is hope that in turn, this can extend beyond the organisation resulting in a more accepting society.
I think that it's very encouraging and exciting that Stonewall are working directly with Oxleas, the Healthy Lives Programme will give the LGBT staff and service users a louder voice, and to quote Harvey Milk 'Hope will never be silent.'
Posted at 7:54 p.m. on June 19, 2011
8 Darren Ward says...
This is now becoming a good level of discussion, so Thanks to all who have posted. I was wondering Christine, if we could get the FIT video attached to our intranet, as Liz say's I think this would be good viewing.
I think we seriously need to start to think about our Information that we use with patients and how we make it sexuality friendly.
I was also wondering Christine, if we know the names of our Local Authority LGBT Leads, we should make them aware of this Blog?
Thanks to all, keep the debate and ideas going.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 9:51 a.m. on June 20, 2011
9 Maeve Malley says...
Yes, great to see the blog here; my experience is that it's SO much easier for people to feel accepted (and acceptable!) if there's a visible/audible acknowledgement that LGBT people are present as staff, clients, governors, commissioners - and so on. This is a really good step towards that presence. I recently went on the Stonewall NHS leadership course and I was struck by how variable staff and client experience can be in this area - it would be wonderful if Oxleas could become a top service provider/employer/model for all populations - not just the most visible.
Posted at 1:23 p.m. on June 20, 2011
10 David Shaer says...
Darren
I think it is really helpful that you have started this blog and the discussions which have ensued. It is reasuring that as an organisation Oxleas is committed to protecting the rights of its workers and is involved in the partnership with Stonewall and the Healthy Lives Programme. In your reply to Kaye you mention the importance of healthy discussions around issues of sexuality within the trust. You are entirely right if we cannot have these discussions with each other how can we do so with our clients in a way they find supportive and helpful.
Posted at 10:51 a.m. on June 22, 2011
11 Darren Ward says...
Dear All. Thanks for comments so far, I agree Rob, what we are talking about is culture change and that takes time. We have a large organisation and there must be more people struggling with sexuality issues than we perhaps even realize.
It was great to have your comments too David and Debbie, we need our 'straight' colleagues more than ever to help culture change!
Keep the discussion going!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 11:29 p.m. on June 26, 2011
12 Scott Hunt says...
I think this is so progressive and so far from where I started twenty six years ago in mental health. I have to say I have never been witness to discrimination but I think it is often quite subtle and not always in your face as a member of staff. I have seen very clearly however how our service users are discriminated against in years gone by by virtue of their sexuality, health and where they work. I think Stonewall have done so much over the years to change peoples views and ideas and this is just another indication that the planet moves toward equality.
Posted at 9:36 a.m. on July 7, 2011
13 Barry Irwin Service user says...
Hi, My name is Barry, I'm a service user in Bromley at Horizon House. I recently had a need to discuss a situnation involing me as a gay man.. I found the staff at Horizon House to be very helpfull,, but they lacked information on PEP treatment,, which i am undertaking...Is there any sort of service user forum, from which i could get help as I feel that I need extra surport in a very difficult situnation.
PS Please forgive my bad spelling
Barry
Posted at 1:43 p.m. on July 7, 2011
14 Martin Smythe says...
It is good to see positive action supportive of LGBT staff in Oxleas.
Over the last year or so I have seen increasing numbers of clients feeling confident to disclose their sexuality when accessing services, I believe that they will feel even more supported in doing so if they are able to identify Oxleas as an organisation where LGBT staff can be positively open about their sexuality, be accepted and be valued as they are.
Posted at 3:30 p.m. on July 7, 2011
15 Darren Ward says...
Dear Scott, Martin and Barry, glad you have all found the blog and taken time to comment.
Yes Scott, it is good times are changing and I too can remember very different times. I can vividly remember how a certain senior senior clinician referred to a service user once in the late 80's in a written communication to a GP. I remember challenging the clinician at the time and how uncomfortable it all was.
I would certainly hope that we are a million miles away from those sorts of views now. Of course as we know homosexuality was a Mental Health Act issue not that far ago in the distant past!
Barry I'm really pleased you have commented and you may find the following contacts of use, if you don't have them already:
Lesbian & Gay Swithchboard has lots of databases and information about LGBT activities, events and services. http://www.llgs.org.uk/
Helpline: 0300 330 0630
(daily 10 am-11pm)
The Metro is a local service based in Greenwich and runs a range of services
https://www.metrocentronline.org/
General Enquiries:
0208 305 5000
Hope that helps Barry.
Cheers to all
Darren.
Posted at 3:15 p.m. on July 8, 2011
16 Wendy Lyon says...
Hi Darren
This is going to be a really useful tool for us to get staff talking about the very real issues of LGBT staff have in Oxleas. I hope we can get some good experiences highlighted and I know that UNISON and staff side in general will be pleased to help in any way we can to breakdown prejudices and of course would love to publish people's success stories. Let me know if we can help further.
Posted at 6:16 p.m. on July 8, 2011
17 fintan brassil says...
Hi Darren
It’s a great step forward to have a blog to discuss LGBT issues and well done for being first.
I myself have worked in Mental health for 23 years all of with Oxleas. A few years ago I did a short video for the department on being gay in the NHS. I personally have found our organisation to be very supportive to our community.
The good work that is being done prompted me this year to put myself forward as the Unison LGBT rep in Oxleas and was successful. I still need to get to grips with this role with the changes in directorates taking over but I plan with Wendy's support to develop this over the next year.
Again Well Done
Fintan
Posted at 9:57 p.m. on July 14, 2011
18 Darren Ward says...
Dear Finton, Thanks for adding to the discussion. It's great to hear you are the UNISON rep for Oxleas. I think it would be good to catch up with you some time to share ideas.
On another front for anyone interested I would like to recommend a recent good read:
The Velvet Rage, by Alan Downs, an American Psychotherapist!
Let's keep up the discussion and sharing.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 3:18 p.m. on July 15, 2011
19 Christine Rivers says...
I have a few things to add to this important and developing Blog!
First, I wanted to let anyone reading know that they can contribute to the blog anonymously. Add 'anonymous' to the name box. You will need to add an e-mail address, but this information goes to the communications team; it will be kept confidential and will not appear on the blog.
Second, Oxleas is entering into the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index, the closing date is 10th September 2011. Part of the submission involves a feedback questionnaire for Oxleas LGB staff, which is completed on Stonewall's website and contributes to the overall score. Please have a look, and fill in the questionnaire, it takes 5 mins and answers are confidential. You will need the organisation code, which is 730. The link is http://www.stonewall.org.uk/at_work/wei_survey/
Finally, we are continuing to expand the work through the healthy lives programme. We have been working on areas such as increasing the visibility of LGB lives across Oxleas media, setting up LGBT service user groups and improving training. The healthy Lives programme runs until December 2011. Please contact Christine Rivers (Christine.rivers@oxleas.nhs.uk) for more information.
Posted at 2:59 p.m. on July 26, 2011
20 Richard Comaish says...
Is there a word for someone undergoing a change of orientation without necessarily having a concomitant change of gender, or is that not entertained by the current terminology?
Posted at 1:41 p.m. on July 30, 2011
21 Simon Hart says...
Darren
Thank you for your blog! I think that you make an important point about moving acceptance of LGBT staff on from tolerance/indifference (although this is a great leap forward from times past) to something that is more positive rather than neutral. The LGBT network and the work with Stonewall will be important in helping the trust as a whole to learn how to actively value and not simply accept its LGBT staff.
Posted at 11:35 a.m. on August 8, 2011
22 Darren Ward says...
Dear Simon, Many Thanks for commenting on this blog. I think it speaks volumes for a good and positive organisation when the Director of HR is openly supporting it's LGBT members. We are as you acknowledge moving forward, but many people are still frightened to be 'out' as Gay and fear what that might mean for them or their careers. I hope that via these communications and other forums that more people will start to feel more confident and positive about their sexual orientation. For quite a sizeable Trust, we still only have a small number who are openly out as LGBT. This of course is not to say people cannot be private, but if the organisational culture evolves over time, people may feel the need to be even less cautious.
Again Many Thanks for your supportive stance Simon.
Darren.
Posted at 1:50 p.m. on August 8, 2011
23 Debbie Green says...
Hi Darren and others,
Good to see that the blog is working now.
For information the E & D lead at the LB Greenwich is Roger Bridgewater.
In March this year, myself and two other Oxleas' staff went on the Stonewall Healthy Lives train the trainer programme.
This means that we can train people about particular aspects of legislation, health needs and the impact of hate crime on LGB people. I found it a really useful few days and certainly I learnt new things.
We are still awaiting the final training materials, but then we will be able to deliver some training across the Trust.
I look forward to bring some facts and debates on these topics.
Posted at 9:31 a.m. on August 12, 2011
24 Jonathan West says...
Several months ago I was interviewed for Oxleas Exchange when I took up my new Clinical Director role. There was the awkward silence when asked about my 'wife'... the upshot being that I decided rather than just adding 'partner' to the article I should specify that my 'partner' was a 'he'. I suppose it didn't seem like a big thing as I have been open with colleagues at work for some time, and luckily have never experienced any (obvious) discrimination in my 18 years in the NHS.
The response took me slightly by surprise getting 2 letters (of support) from patients and several emails from staff. I guess what to me wasn't a big step, to others was a significant gesture. I try not to think that my sexuality defines me or my work, it is just a part of me, none the less it is fantastic that the Trust (esp Darren) is putting time into this blog.
Keep up the good work.
Posted at 11:32 a.m. on August 12, 2011
25 Darren Ward says...
Dear Jonathan, Thanks for your comments and I guess many of us have been in the awkward position you describe and they are not the most comfortable moments! It's still a sign that most people expect you to have a wife if your a man or a husband if your a woman. It would be easier if people just asked if you were married, then at least you can go on to explain, without suffering their 'traffic light' face colour change!
I think it's great as Clincial Director and Senior Medic', that you too have leant your support and weight to this blog discussion. Please keep tabs on the discussion and contribute when you can.
Cheers Jonathan
Darren.
Posted at 12:08 p.m. on August 12, 2011
26 Anne Waterworth says...
Hi Darren
Thank you for the blog - it is great that this starting a conversation about LBGT issues - firstly for staff, but also in relation to people who use our services. I note with interest the blog from Liz Day in CAMHS - I work in the Older People's directorate and am aware that people using our services may well have grown up at a time when they faced more discrimination than people growing up today. This is a positive step and I look forward to following the discussions.
Posted at 2:21 p.m. on August 12, 2011
27 fiona starkey-norman says...
Hi darren
i agree with a lot that has been said previously.
But-i think there is a wider issue then purely LGBT issues in MH.
i still think that sexuality is the hidden area in work-we talk about holistic care-but i can think of only 1 or 2 assessments that really explore what clients needs are over and above the single words "married" or "gay".
i think we need to look at how professionally we can stop staff being embarrassed about asking questions not just about relationships, but how does the medication affect someones sex life, how does any weight gain affect the level of desirability they feel...etc.
i do think there are significant levels of embarrassment from staff in talking about this issue-for all patients irrespective of orientation-although I think that using education/media like this moves us a little away from the mainstream TV depiction of LGBT -as that is an area that worries me-!
Posted at 9:34 a.m. on August 15, 2011
28 Maeve Malley says...
I think Fiona's point is a good one; I think that the next stage on is not just for clinicians to have an awareness of people identifying as LGBT, but being able to have the same levels of discussion - about relationships, dilemmas, medication, physicality, illness, choices - as they would have with any client. When I work with LGB couples or families, I'm often struck by the questions that they haven't been asked before - 'how did you meet', 'how do you get on with each others family', 'have you got children' - because clinicians are too 'frozen' by the issue of sexual identity to ask all the ordinary questions that they would usually ask. That can require the ability to admit a lack of knowledge or anxiety about offending someone, or making a mistake. In my experience, clients - like all of us, really - are very generous about forgiving mistakes or awkwardness, they just don't like assumptions being made.
Posted at 1:44 p.m. on August 16, 2011
29 Debbie Green says...
Update on the Stonewall training- Materials are just in on Hate crime and Health needs for the LBG population. The legal aspects and other few bits still outstanding.
From the above, it looks like some other areas of training would be useful too.
We will endeavour to includes these, too.
Now all that is needed is a date and some participants.
Posted at 3:02 p.m. on August 19, 2011
30 Stephen Firn says...
Dear Darren
Many thanks for this great initiative. I think it is terrific that you and senior colleagues are acting as inspiring role models to other LGBT colleagues. As chair of our Equality and Human Rights Board I support any actions that celebrate the diversity of our workforce and make the most of everyone's different experiences and perspectives. At the exec this morning, for instance, we approved a modest amount of money to support a Staff Equality Survey in September. We have significant gaps in our workforce data, particularly around sexual orientation. I hope initiatives such as this blog will help colleagues feel it is safe to be open about their sexuality and that the trust will only use such information to raise awareness and improve staff engagement. I'll be following this blog with interest.
Best wishes
Stephen
Posted at 6:29 p.m. on August 23, 2011
31 Hazel Purdie says...
Hi, I am an ex member of staff at Oxleas. I left in 2004 and I thinks its great that some more positive actions are taking place for LGBT workers in NHS. I know my experience at Oxleas was a positive from point of view of my sexuality. Keep up the good work.
Hazel
Posted at 5:13 p.m. on September 1, 2011
32 Darren Ward says...
Dear All who have contributed to this debate over the last few weeks, Thank you very much, some really interesting points are being made.
A big Thank you to you Stephen for your positive contribution and it's excellent to have the support from the 'top of the Trust Tree'. It's great news about the Equality survey and I'm sure all LGBT staff reading this blog, will feel so positive about support from the CEO.
Fiona, I agree with you about staff feeling uncomfrtable about asking questions and I think we need to address this in training and also in the University training all our Professional groups undertake.
Having just had a relaxing 2 weeks in Sunny Rhodes, I was yet again reminded of the embarassment factor. Whilst swimming in the sea with my Adopted Son, I struck up a conversation with a man swimming close by.As the conversation went on for a bit, he asked me if my wife was with me. When I pointed out my male partner was just over there on a sun lounger! There was a short silence and a dilation of his pupils. I explained that we had an adopted Son. He looked completely amazed, as if I had been the first to inform him the World was not flat! He proceded to beckon his wife into the water, to share his amazing discovery! OK, he was a Syrian man living in Greece, but Greece were the forfathers, so to speak!
So positive steps and a million miles from 30 years ago but still work to do to enable people generally to feel more comfortable.
Debbie Thanks for your updates, much appreciated!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 9:55 a.m. on September 5, 2011
33 Martin Smythe says...
Hi Darren
I loved your holiday story.It provided a welcome lift in my mood coming just half an hour after reading in today's paper that three Gay men where exectuted (hanged)in Iran this week because of their sexuality.
Posted at 3:41 p.m. on September 8, 2011
34 Darren Ward says...
Dear Martyn, that is harrowing news indeed and really shows us how Equality and Human rights are far from where they need to be across the World. This type of awful atrocity happens all the time in certain countries. We are all reminded that there are countires in the World we may never travel to as Gay people/families as they are far too dangerous. ? which newspaper article was this in Martyn?
On other update info'note Stonewall have welcomed the news that the current life ban on giving blood for gay men is to be now a one year deferral. However Stonewall have expressed concern that a one year ban exits for Gay men involved in low risk sexual activity and yet heterosexual people in higher risk activities are not banned! In Italy & Spain, this has already been lifted! Please check Stonewall website for further details.
Also next month there will be a Govt' consultation on extending legal marriage for LGBT people.
Posted at 10:43 a.m. on September 9, 2011
35 James Kellock says...
Hi Darren,
Congratulations on setting up this blog and getting such interesting conversations going.
As a non-executive Director I am really excited by the work that Oxleas is doing to support all its staff and service users whatever their sexuality. It's great that we have the Chief Executive chairing our Equality and Human Rights committee and it's fantastic that Oxleas has been so keen to work with Stonewall (big thanks to Stonewall too). But as you and others have pointed out there is still a way to go before prejudice is eradicated in our society.
I'm not sure if the 2011 Equality report is yet on the website but I'd encourage everyone to have a look when it is: it shows a huge amount of excellent work being done by the trust to promote an equalities culture and there's information on the work we're doing with Stonewall for those who want to know more.
Finally can I plug the Annual members meeting at the O2 on the 28th where there'll be a joint Oxleas/Stonewall stall. Another first for the Trust!
All the best,
James
Posted at 6:59 p.m. on September 23, 2011
36 Ray Corbett says...
It's great that Darren and all the other contributors are working with Stonewall and within Oxleas to overcome ignorance, prejudice and fear about LGBT issues. As a gay man myself I look forward to the day when a person's sexuality no longer evokes fear, hostility and dissaproval, or special approval. Things have improved a lot, but there is still much more to do. Congratulations on your good work
Posted at 11:27 p.m. on September 25, 2011
37 christine Rivers says...
There are some really interesting points to take on board from this conversation - I'm really keen that they don’t stay as lone comments on the Blog, but are scrutinised as areas of possible action. Therefore, I have added this to the agenda for the next Stonewall Healthy Lives meeting.
Also, Stonewall have just published a new report on LGB people in later life - it makes scary reading, and has particular implications for mental health and OA (Older Adult) services. A summary link is below, and I'll add the full report to the intranet.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/sep/11/gay-people-risk-old-age?INTCMP=SRCH
I think a really important point to make is although there are day to day experiences of discrimination that many LGB people face, the effects of discrimination can be much deeper. For example, in the loss of friends from earlier life, more difficult relationships with some family members, the way that we change our behaviour to avoid potential abuse by not holding hands in public places, and by being silent about our lives and relationships.
Posted at 10:33 a.m. on September 26, 2011
38 Russell Cartwright says...
Hi,
The 2011 Equality Report that James mentioned is on the website. To read it click on Equality and Diversity at the top then scroll down and it is under 'Related information'.
Posted at 9:10 a.m. on September 27, 2011
39 Darren Ward says...
Dear James, Thank you for joining in the discussion, great to have a Non Exec Director on board!
Christine, yes I read the article on the lonliness of LGBT older people. As you say many LGBT people have suffered family/friend estrangement and geographical move and distance, which makes life difficult. The 'gay scene' does not really cater or offer much to the older person. I'm sure this is something we should be discussing with our Local Authority colleagues, particularly when planning/commissioning services!
Thank you all for such positive contributions to this discussion and taking it further step by step!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 9:55 a.m. on September 27, 2011
40 Maeve Malley says...
I'll be interested to read the Stonewall report on Older LGB populations; I remember when I was doing some research on LGB mental health that there was some work by a man called Raymond Berger ('Gay and Grey' among other books & articles) who suggested that LGB populations may do well in terms of maintaining relationships and support across the life-span, because they actually relied less solely on family members, or partners, and more on a wider network of friends, ex-lovers and a 'chosen' family. I wonder if one of the dilemmmas for our own services is in an assumption that those close to us will always be biologically related family members. When we run the Family-inclusive Practice trainings in the Trust, we're always at pains to remind clinicians that peoples 'significant others' may not be family members and it's important to think more widely than this to identify support and relationships.
I'll be interested to see what implications the Stonewall report on LGB aging may have for our own services - particularly with an aging (though more diverse than we may realise) population.
Posted at 8:29 a.m. on September 28, 2011
41 Darren Ward says...
Dear Maeve, thanks for that info', I will Google Raymond Berger. I know what you are saying and I agree to some extent. What I think is a concern is that often social activities for O/A LGBT are not as well planned, as for heterosexuals. The young are well catered for. Not suggesting 'Bingo for all'! I do think we need to think about these things though when planning services.
At yesterdays AMM I was having a chat with a couple of people and saying I would not want to be living alone out in the country as LGBT person. One might say, who would irrespective of sexuality, but I think the Stigma still does make a difference!
Great that we are debating it though!
Cheers Maeve
Darren.
Posted at 12:14 p.m. on September 29, 2011
42 Wilf Bardsley says...
Darren,
I just wanted to comment about the AMM. I overheard a conversation at the stall which was a useful reminder to me that people who use our services may have their own prejudices which are not consistent with our own values.
I was impressed with the way the gentleman who was keen to express his views about gay parenting was sensitively challenged without further stigmatising him.
As you say still a way to go to change culture
Posted at 4:44 p.m. on October 4, 2011
43 Darren Ward says...
Dear Wilf, I'm really please you have found the blog. It's a huge plus having the input and support of the Director of Nursing. Yes I heard tell of that conversation. I'm just pleased these issues can be openly debated in a civil manner.
What has always attracted me most about being a Nurse over almost 30 years now, is that foundation of 'non judgemental' having 'warmth' and 'positive regard' for others, no matter where they are from in life or in whatever circumstances. A bit 'apple pie' I know, but I still feel relevant!
Cheers Wilf!
Darren.
Posted at 2:34 p.m. on October 7, 2011
44 Dave Mellish says...
Dear All,
It’s good to see a blog that allows people to discuss sexual orientation and raising some of the important issues relating to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender identities. Through the Stonewall Healthy Lives Programme, Oxleas is moving forward towards greater equality for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender service users and staff.
As Chairman, I am proud that Oxleas is an NHS Trust that celebrates the diversity of both it’s service users and staff. I do hope that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people, who either use our services or work within them, feel that they can be enabled by Oxleas to come out and be respected for who they are.
Keep up the debate and I shall follow it with interest!
Very Best Wishes
Dave
Posted at 10:52 a.m. on October 10, 2011
45 Darren Ward says...
Dear Dave, it is really fantastic that you as Chairman, alongside Stephen have commented on this blog in support of LGBT Service Users and Staff.
I'm sure this will be a big morale booster and will encourage more people to feel comfortable about coming out and not feeling afraid to do so.
I'm sure Christine Rivers, the Equality and Diversity Lead, will want to Thank you also.
Many Thanks again Dave!
Darren.
Posted at 4:04 p.m. on October 10, 2011
46 Markus Bienroth says...
Dear Darren,
many thanks for inviting me to comment on your blog.
Good idea to start this discussion and I wish to say that since I have started to work with Oxleas 7 years ago I have never witnessed obvious discrimination of any kind. As to my personal circumstances I had similar experiences as Jonathan West when asked how my 'wife' was, explaining then depending who was asking that 'she' is in fact a 'he' and my partner for some time.... sometimes followed by silence or surprise or comments like 'oh really' or 'that's fine'.
Cheers,
Markus
Posted at 4:05 p.m. on October 12, 2011
47 Darren Ward says...
Dear Markus, Thank you for taking time out to visit this blog and comment.There seems to be a similar theme about Gay men being asked about their wives. I wonder whether this is a similar experience for Lesbian women or not?
One wonders whether it is just an innocent assumption based on the fact that the majority of society is heterosexual or whether sometimes people may suspect and are testing out?
It is probably in reality a bit of both! I guess what we must work towards is a future where people could ask: "? Do you have a partner" and then allowing people to reply!
Having just completed my Equality & Diversity training on line, I'm reminded of the video clip of the young chap who is insensitive without realising! There are certain communications/assumptions in the work place now that we would never make. I guess it eduacating that one step further.
Dear Christine, ? dio you think we perhaps should have a video clip in the training re this??
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 11:30 a.m. on October 13, 2011
48 John Woolgrove says...
Darren, well done for running this blog and helping to changing the culture. Did anyone see Me, My Sex and I on BBC1 a couple of days ago? A thought provoking and sensitive documentary, I thought, and it raised a number of issues including prejudice that people feel and that is embodied in the legal system. Still available on BBC iplayer if you missed it.
Posted at 5:11 p.m. on October 13, 2011
49 Darren Ward says...
Dear John, Many Thanks for visiting the blog and making comment, its really good to have support from all partners. No I did not see the documentary on BBC, but will watch it tonight!
Keep looking in on us and Thank You again!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 9:32 a.m. on October 14, 2011
50 Christine Rivers says...
Hi,
I can’t say that I am often asked about my husband, so it might be a gender thing...
The most recent Healthy Lives meeting discussed the actions picked up from the Blog. We are going to see if we can add the FIT video to the website, and I'm going to draft a letter to send to the colleges that train nurses, OT's and doctors, to ask about their training packages and whether they include sexual identity. We have also set up a small
sub-group to discuss the development of a Trust leaflet, aimed at LGBT service users. In addition, we discussed the dissemination of the Stonewall research ‘Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual People in Later Life’, and will be seeing how we can discuss some of the findings with staff.
The e-learning package is 'owned' by a private company, so we're not able to change the content. We are, however, looking to produce our own 'in-house' training package at some point, and would be able to include some scenarios relating to sexual identity when this is produced. There is a separate sexual orientation module with the package, which includes more specific material.
Posted at 12:55 p.m. on October 14, 2011
51 Darren Ward says...
Dear Christine, interesting about Gender issue! It will be great to see FIT video up loaded and great that you are speaking to training colleges!
Yes it would be great to do something in house re training video and have something sexual orientation specific.
Well Done on all the work Christine!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 8:55 a.m. on October 17, 2011
52 Francis Thompson says...
Hi Darren,
Referring back to your original entry I think it is hugely important to actively be a part of changing culture (be the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi). I note a lot of comments about the reduction in overt discrimination but I still believe there is a largre amount of more hidden and subtle prejudice out there. This blog is certainly a step in the right direction.
Francis
Posted at 12:59 p.m. on October 28, 2011
53 Darren Ward says...
Dear All, just to let you know ( which you may already have seen! )that the Independent on Sunday Pink list is available on the Stonewall website: www.stonewall.org.uk
Darren.
Posted at 1:24 p.m. on October 28, 2011
54 Darren Ward says...
Dear Francis, Thank you for taking time out to visit this blog and make a comment. Yes that Ghandi quote is very powerful. I think the more that people can be themselves openly the more things will change. There is still fear however/embarrassment about coming out, given the hidden 'shaddow side' of homophobia which still exits in some places as you say.
Being able to openly debate and discuss like this though is a big step forward.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 12:39 p.m. on November 1, 2011
55 Darren Ward says...
Dear All, for any same sex adoptive parents, or those considering this, there was a really good interview on BBC Radio Scotland. Lorraine Kelly interviewed a male couple who adopted 3 years ago. It's 25 mins long and well worth a listen. It was recorded yesterday 8th November at 14.05 and you can listen again on the BBC listen again service. It's entitled ; 'Someone Else's child'. Great work BBC Scotland!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 8:36 a.m. on November 9, 2011
56 James Taylor says...
Congratulations on a long and powerful blog. There has been lots of interest which is really positive and highlights the work Oxleas is doing on improving services and the workplace for lesbian, gay and bisexual staff and patients. Keep it up
Posted at 11:23 a.m. on November 9, 2011
57 Maeve Malley says...
I meant to ask if anyone else had seen the last episode of 'My Transsexual Summer' last week? It was a fabulous series, I thought; so many issues arose about the intersection and unresolved dilemmas between gender and sexuality. The main thing for me though, was how touching and how lovely the protagonists were - how incredibly isolated they'd felt and how mutually supportive they all were. And how brave.
It seemed like a very 'un-voyeuristic' bit of film-making and really touching - I sobbed buckets at the last programme.
Posted at 8:59 a.m. on December 6, 2011
58 Darren Ward says...
Dear Maeve, Yes I watched the whole 4 episodes and like you thought it was really well done. What struck me was the similar themes in LGBT lives:
Isolation
Family estrangement
Needing to be accepted
Wanting to be different, yet 'Normal' and treated so
Huge ambivalence and struggle
These are the areas that we must focus on in the coming years for all, if poeple are ever going to be able to just 'relax' and be who they are and accepted for it.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 3:19 p.m. on December 6, 2011
59 Maeve Malley says...
Wonderful that this kind of national and institutional discrimination may now be addressed more seriously: from The Associated Press, Dec 6th 2011
"The Obama administration bluntly warned the world against gay and lesbian discrimination Tuesday, declaring the U.S. will use foreign assistance as well as diplomacy to back its insistence that gay rights are fully equal to other basic human rights.
In unusually strong language, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton compared the struggle for gay equality to difficult passages toward women's rights and racial equality, and she said a country's cultural or religious traditions are no excuse for discrimination.
"Gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights," she said.
Clinton's audience included diplomats from Arab, African and other nations where homosexuality is criminalized or where brutality and discrimination against gay people is tolerated or encouraged"
How good is it to see this! And let's hope it translates into action at an international level.
Posted at 1:23 p.m. on December 7, 2011
60 Darren Ward says...
Dear Maeve, let's hope it translates into action eh! The USA has had(and still has!)some difficult issues in history around minority groups, but has equally heralded some of the greatest changes!
Really good that Obama and Hilary are both championing this in a way I don't think the Republicans would have! There are some really harsh regimes out there across Africa and the Middle East and making in-roads there would be really significant!
A future of being able to travel anywhere across the World as an LGBT person would be wonderful, but we are quite away from that still I think. Still 'little acorns' and all that!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 1:41 p.m. on December 8, 2011
61 Paul Ward says...
Darren,
Congratulations on an excellent blog. It really is inspiring what you're doing with this. As a gay man, serving as a Non Exec Director at Oxleas I am proud of the initiative and leadership which the Trust has taken in championing LGBT equality and rights. In my day job managing the Terrence Higgins Trust I come across, every day, countless examples of both individual and institutional discrimination in society . It's great that Oxleas is standing up and being counted in the fight against this discrimination & prejudice. Once again, well done!
Paul
Posted at 8:04 a.m. on December 16, 2011
62 Darren Ward says...
Dear Paul, Thanks so much for your entry and visible support for us. It's fantastic as a Director you are 'up front and out' and proud! All good signals and the right sort of role modelling many other more junior staff will find inspiring and reassuring.
I was not aware you were involved with the Terrence Higgins Trust, that's great! I'm sure you have come across countless examples of discrimination.
I think Oxleas is really making good headway now and the idea of course is to grow membership and be a part of the top 100 employers. Stephen Firn and other Directors are lending thier support which is great and will really help the agenda move up a notch!
We may certainly be coming your way for support at future events/promotions. Our Communications dept' are currently putting togehter a leaflet for service users, which I think will be very empowering and I think we will be the first Trust to have done this! Christine Rivers and the group are really producing some impressive work now and we hope to show case this regularly in 'One Oxleas'
Thanks again Paul
Very Best Wishes
Darren.
Posted at 3:13 p.m. on December 16, 2011
63 Scott Hunt says...
Dear All
I was reminded how far our trust was moving ahead, when the other day I witnessed in another trust terrible discrimination towards a female nurse. The other health professional kept making assumptions about my sexuality as I was the pt and that I was married. With the female nurse still present I had to explain that I had a male partner. Im not really sure who was more shocked. It is something I will take to PALS as the comments re sexuality were terrible with a great number of prehistoric comments and assumptions. However the person I really felt for was the nurse who clearly had to witness and be recipient to sexist comments daily. I know on the blog there are quite a number of senior staff and I wonder in the day to day working order of Oxleas how much difficulty there is for staff who are female or part of the LGBT community and how we would find the difficulties that may occur? They would I imagine be least obvious to seniors as it is often subtle and not in front of mgt.
Posted at 8:04 a.m. on January 27, 2012
64 Liz Day says...
Tomorrow LGBT History Month begins. I wonder which of the Oxleas sites will have displays marking this? We hope to have the CAMHS one up by Thursday - a bit late this year but there's lots of work to do! I think it makes so much difference to user experience to see an indication that LGBT people are welcome and can be visible without fear. Look on the history month website for events going on in London and your own area. www.lgbthistorymonth.org.uk
Posted at 4:47 p.m. on January 31, 2012
65 Darren Ward says...
Dear Scott, sorry to hear of your recent experience. We are never more than a few seconds from ignorance and discrimination! It is good you are raising it with PALS, the more people do complain, the more likey this type of behaviour will reduce.
Thanks Liz for your timely reminder of LGBT history month.
Darren.
Posted at 9:11 a.m. on February 6, 2012
66 Simon Hart says...
Scott
I would agree that issues of witting and unwitting discrimination are likely to be carried out away from the eyes of management and as such can be hard to spot. It is important that those of us in senior management are not complacent and work to encourage a culture that supports and encourages staff to raise issues as they happen and take action when they do. A passive response is almost a tacit agreement to such behaviours
Posted at 4:07 p.m. on February 16, 2012
67 Darren Ward says...
Dear Simon, I think it would be really good if in the Equality and Diversity on line training, there could be a VT similar to the one in which the older female employee is discrminated against by the younger male. I think such visual reminders are quite powerful. I know that Christine Rivers was hoping such could be included in future?
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 12:50 p.m. on February 22, 2012
68 Darren Ward says...
Dear All, the debate is getting heated this month as Gay Marriage is debated. The R/C Bishop of Scotland was suitably biased in his view, but not surprising I guess. I am not a David Cameron fan, but I am very pleased he is taking the supportive stance he is. If we can get this changed, then we take one step further to equality!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 3:22 p.m. on March 5, 2012
69 Rosemary Cantwell says...
We have come along way from Oscar Wilde and Reading Gaol I am pleased to say. Psychiatry must be used to allow all people to express their individuality without fetter.
Posted at 10:43 p.m. on March 15, 2012
70 Darren Ward says...
Dear All, just wanted to share with you my experience of attending last Friday the Stonewall workplace conference. This event was held at The QE 11 Centre in Westminster and attended by 550 delegates. There was a very emotional and powerful speech by a Leading Director at Ernst and Young. She explained that she had an extremely successful career and never really considered her sexuality much ( but had clealry closeted herself) she explained that she had denied and covered up her Lesbian identity for 52 years! She explained how she was going through the slides of a presentation on an international business flight. The slides were of some younger LGB employees promoting equality and how she suddenly realised, she could not present her section without being 'Authentic' and out. She rapdily changed her section of the slides and in effect came out to a global conference audience!
She said she was amazed at the feeling of relief and also the public and work support she received.
To witness her tell her story, nearly had me in tears. She has since not stopped promoting LGB issues and Ernst & Young are at the number 1 position on Stonewall equality index!
This was a powerful story of someone who was able to show Authenticity in a huge way after 52 years of being closeted. I'm sure the slides can be downloaded via the Stonewall website, with a click on workplace conference 20/04/12.
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 5:10 p.m. on April 26, 2012
71 Martin Smythe says...
Hi Darren,
I wonder if you have seen the E U LGBT survey on line at lgbtsurvey.eu
It is commissioned by the E U Fundamental Rights Agency and is being conducted by GALLUP.
The questionaire is on-line until the end of June 2012.
Their aim is that the information will provide evidence that may then be used to shape government and other service provider policy in the E U.
My hope is that this will help, even if in a small way to push equality issues on to the agenda in some of the E U countries that remain truly behind the times on equality,diversity and generally having some respect for difference.
It would shape the picture better if as many people as possible completed it.
Posted at 3:46 p.m. on May 1, 2012
72 Darren Ward says...
Dear Martyn, Thanks for that! No I had not viewed but will do so and complete. I encourage all other LGBT Group members to do so also.
The issue of Gay Marriage is now really 'hotting up', spurred on by the excellent statement by Barrack Obama yesterday!
Cheers
Darren.
Posted at 3:22 p.m. on May 10, 2012